Question Answering

Colombiangel1213

Colombiangel1213: do u no where i could get info bout hiking and mountains and stuff like that
sylloge: http://www.google.com/ ?
Colombiangel1213: thats it
sylloge: That's what you've been looking for? You could search for it
Colombiangel1213: yup

Colombiangel1213: sry g2
Colombiangel1213: g

[sometime passes]

Colombiangel1213: so u got more info whre i could get it ?
sylloge: Have you tried http://www.google.com/ ?
Colombiangel1213: yup
sylloge: And there is nothing on the internet about hiking and mountains and stuff like that?
sylloge: Seems like someone would have put up a page by now
Colombiangel1213: i think so

[sometime passes]

Colombiangel1213: do u think i could lokk in another site
sylloge: How old are you?
sylloge: Don't you get it?
sylloge: Google is a search engine ....
sylloge: You can find anything
sylloge: watch!
Colombiangel1213: ok
sylloge: http://www.google.com/search?q=hiking+and+mountains+and+stuff
sylloge: All about hiking and mountains and stuff
sylloge: See?
Colombiangel1213: ok clam down

[sometime passes]

Colombiangel1213: thanx any ways
Colombiangel1213: bi

Littlemotivride, part 3

Littlemotivride: do you know of any sites with valid cd keys
sylloge: I'm afraid I cannot help you there
sylloge: You have been reported to the authorities
Littlemotivride: for counter strike
sylloge: Legel proceedings will commence at the discretion of the supervisor

Littlemotivride: wow
sylloge: Be prepared to stand trial
Littlemotivride: for asking for a cd key
sylloge: OK, we will let you off the hook this time
sylloge: BUT DO NOT ASK AGAIN
sylloge: Others have come before you, and their end was not pretty
Littlemotivride: i didn't know it was illegal
sylloge: Consider this a warning, Jared
Littlemotivride: wow
Littlemotivride: now i know
Littlemotivride: and my name isn't jared
sylloge: I would hate to see you end up ... like them
sylloge: Dude, you told me your name was Jared yesterday
Littlemotivride: i also told some girl that my name was zach grenton
sylloge: Was she cute, this girl?
Littlemotivride: and gary vohn
Littlemotivride: and aaron jinlings
Littlemotivride: i have a lot of names
sylloge: Jinlings is kinda nice
Littlemotivride: i live in canada
sylloge: As do I
sylloge: I live in Vancouver
Littlemotivride: and sadi arabia
sylloge: Have you ever heard of British Columbia?
Littlemotivride: iran
sylloge: Saudi
Littlemotivride: i don't really live there
Littlemotivride: i can't even spell it
Littlemotivride: i would never tell anybody my real name
sylloge: Good thinking
sylloge: If you tell people your true name, they can steal your soul
sylloge: I read about that once
Littlemotivride: do you have a lap top
Littlemotivride: cause it doesn't say if you're typing or not
Littlemotivride: cause a guy i talked to had a lap top and i couldn't tell if he was typing
sylloge: I use trillian
Littlemotivride: what is that
sylloge: Look it up
sylloge: Do you have a blog?
Littlemotivride: what does it mean you are a file sharer
Littlemotivride: cause that is what it says when i leave the arrow on you name
sylloge: http://www.ceruleanstudios.com/
sylloge: No idea
Littlemotivride: and how could you have reported me to the authorities before i ever did anything
sylloge: Hey Jaaronarylings, DO YOU HAVE A BLOG?
Littlemotivride: what is that
Littlemotivride: i don't know anything about comps
sylloge: Have you ever seen the movie 'Minority Report'
sylloge: ?
Littlemotivride: no
sylloge: That explains how you can be reported
Littlemotivride: that also had flying cars
sylloge: If a psychic predicts that a crime is going to occur, they can arrest you pre-emptively
Littlemotivride: well i don't think you are a psychic
sylloge: I am not
sylloge: But I have psychics on staff here
Littlemotivride: who predicted it then
sylloge: Anyway, Chrsit, I can't believe I am wasting so much time
Littlemotivride: ask them how many fingers i'm holding up
sylloge: Kid, unless you are over 18, please do not visit this site: http://www.fleshbot.com
Littlemotivride: what windows are open right now
sylloge: Thank you and please do not come again
Littlemotivride: why
Littlemotivride: dude
sylloge: I'm afraid I am going to have to block you
sylloge: Have fun though - the net is cool
sylloge: You will learn a lot
Littlemotivride: dude
sylloge: don't forget to exercise though
sylloge: you need fresh air as well
Littlemotivride: i have a six pack
Littlemotivride: and i can bench 150

Blocked

simss2s

simss2s: Hey
sylloge: s'up, yo?
sylloge: I mean WHAT it is?
simss2s: Hey do you answer questuions
sylloge: Only if you put a question mark at the end

simss2s: ok
simss2s: Mercantilist theory stated that the volume of this was unchangable?
sylloge: jeez - that's a tough one
*** Error while sending IM: This user is currently not logged on

[some time passes]

simss2s: Whats the capitol of California?
sylloge: Sacramento
simss2s: Capitol of Spain
sylloge: Madrid
sylloge: Kid - have you never heard of Google?
simss2s: yea
simss2s: doesnt really work
sylloge: And it is capitAl, with an "a", not an "o"
sylloge: CapitOl is just in Washington*
sylloge: http://www.wsu.edu:8080/~brians/errors/capital.html

* Note, I didn't have that quite right myself.

Giddyup1155 redux

Giddyup1155: hey
sylloge: s'up?
Giddyup1155: nmjc u
sylloge: nmjc?
sylloge: What does that mean?

Giddyup1155: nothing much just chilling
sylloge: aha
Giddyup1155: r u a bot?
sylloge: Dude, you asked me this yesterday.
sylloge: No. I am a person.
sylloge: I am at work.
sylloge: Shhh ....
Giddyup1155: ok
Giddyup1155: y
Giddyup1155: y
Giddyup1155: y
Giddyup1155: y
Giddyup1155: y
Giddyup1155: y
Giddyup1155: y
Giddyup1155: y
Giddyup1155: y
[Giddyup1155 has been blocked]

Littlemotivride: redux

Littlemotivride: who is this
sylloge: wtf?
Littlemotivride: i'm just asking

sylloge: You IM'd me before
sylloge: asking about the Iraq war
Littlemotivride: i didn't say that you im'd me first
Littlemotivride: i was just asking who this was
sylloge: My name is Stewart
Littlemotivride: oh
Littlemotivride: o
Littlemotivride: i'm jared
Littlemotivride: i saw your screen name on a site
Littlemotivride: and you had answered some guys questions
sylloge: right
sylloge: life is good

Giddyup1155

Giddyup1155: hey
sylloge: ahoy - how can I help?
Giddyup1155: r u a robot?
Giddyup1155: ??
sylloge: nope
sylloge: I am just a regular fella

Giddyup1155: o
sylloge: r u a bot?
Giddyup1155: no
sylloge: well, unfortunately you blew your question on that
Giddyup1155: what
sylloge: too bad - you could have got a good one answered!
Giddyup1155: do u no any robots
Giddyup1155: ???
Giddyup1155: hello?
sylloge: sorry - was away for a while
sylloge: I'm at work
Giddyup1155: ok
sylloge: And no, I only know humans
Giddyup1155: o whats your name
Giddyup1155: ????
sylloge: Stewart
sylloge: What's your name
Giddyup1155: mikey

Littlemotivride

Littlemotivride: when did the iraq u.s. war start
Littlemotivride: do you know
sylloge: Have you ever checked out Google?
sylloge: http://www.google.com/

Littlemotivride: i don't know what to ask them
Littlemotivride: it only brings up words from the articles
sylloge: Here's a good page:
sylloge: http://www.google.com/
sylloge: oops
sylloge: one sec
sylloge: http://www.geocities.com/purplesage23/
Littlemotivride: thanks
sylloge: March 19th was the first day
sylloge: http://www.geocities.com/purplesage23/mar03.html
sylloge: oh, this page is better:
sylloge: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_2003_invasion_of_Iraq
Littlemotivride: was it last year
Littlemotivride: when we invaded iraq
sylloge: Yes, March 19, 2003
Littlemotivride: thanks

rappinchild1 redux

rappinchild1: got a few more
rappinchild1: i didnt get them on google or yahoo
sylloge: ok
sylloge: by, the way, I think SeXyThUg150 likes you as more than a friend

rappinchild1: haha
rappinchild1: wut make u think that
sylloge: Oh, I can just tell
sylloge: is she cute?
rappinchild1: ye
rappinchild1: i told her she waz
sylloge: And what did she say?
rappinchild1: thnx
rappinchild1: r u talkin to her right now?
sylloge: not any more
rappinchild1: i didnt c wut u said?
sylloge: is that a question?
rappinchild1: no
sylloge: I said: "not any more" (not talking to her any more)
rappinchild1: o
rappinchild1: but here is my q
rappinchild1: common name of Monosaccharides, Disaccharides, Polysaccharides
rappinchild1: ??
sylloge: That was a tough one
sylloge: The answer ..
sylloge: Carbohydrates
rappinchild1: thnx
rappinchild1: wut happen waz i waz suppose to bring my chem book
rappinchild1: but i forgot it
sylloge: right, well ... such is life
sylloge: good luck!
rappinchild1: thnx

SeXyThUg150

SeXyThUg150: hey
SeXyThUg150: hey
sylloge: s'up?
sylloge: s'up?
SeXyThUg150: nuttin
SeXyThUg150: who is this
sylloge: wtf?
sylloge: you IM'd me

sylloge: who is *that
sylloge: *?
SeXyThUg150: do u know david
sylloge: I know at least 4 David's, that I can think of
SeXyThUg150: of
SeXyThUg150: he lives in plano
sylloge: Texas?
sylloge: I know no Davids in Texas
SeXyThUg150: yea
SeXyThUg150: oh
sylloge: Is his AIM handle 'rappinchild1'?
SeXyThUg150: well i am jessica
SeXyThUg150: who r u
sylloge: Stewart
SeXyThUg150: yea
sylloge: How old are you and David?
SeXyThUg150: yea sure
sylloge: ?
SeXyThUg150: 16
sylloge: Do you go to the same school? How do you know each other?
SeXyThUg150: met online n he came ova one time
sylloge: Are you also in Plano?
SeXyThUg150: no
sylloge: But are you two dating?
SeXyThUg150: no just talkin

rappinchild1

rappinchild1: yo
sylloge: what it is, my friend?
rappinchild1: got sum q's for ya
sylloge: shoot
rappinchild1: What is the energy-releasing carbohydrate in biological systems?
sylloge: Duh ... glucose.
rappinchild1: man u r f-in awesome

sylloge: thanks!
sylloge: May I recommend Google? http://google.com -- you can often find the answers to your questions there
rappinchild1: ye
rappinchild1: i lookd up question answerer and i found sumin to do w/ u and sweetroxy215
sylloge: why didn't you look up energy-releasing carbohydrate in biological systems?
rappinchild1: really didnt think it would have the answer
rappinchild1: since ur the oracle
rappinchild1: do u kno wut im gunna ask u next
sylloge: nope, that is not within my powers
rappinchild1: k
rappinchild1: how are pollysaccharides formed?
sylloge: well, they are made out of three of how simple sugar units
sylloge: how? magic, I think
sylloge: I had to look that one up ...
sylloge: ... using Google
sylloge: ... which is free
rappinchild1: o
sylloge: ... and available even to you :)]
rappinchild1: ic
rappinchild1: so ui just use google to get the answers to the q"s people ask u
sylloge: well, most of them I know already
sylloge: that was the first one I have had to look up
rappinchild1: haha
sylloge: mostly people ask really easy question
rappinchild1: thats koo
rappinchild1: 1 gram of carbohydrate= ------- calories?
sylloge: hold on a sec
rappinchild1: k
sylloge: more info on polysaccharides:
sylloge: they are made from dehydrated disaccharides
rappinchild1: its suppose to b a # answer though
sylloge: ah, ok
rappinchild1: lol
sylloge: Dude, if you just type in "1 gram of carbohydrate in calories" to Google, you get the answer
sylloge: which is: 4
sylloge: You try it
rappinchild1: aiight
rappinchild1: im just gunna start usin google
sylloge: This homework is useless though
rappinchild1: all r
rappinchild1: do u know about ki?
sylloge: they just want a list of numbers? what's the point - you just look crap up online
sylloge: ki?
sylloge: never heard of it
rappinchild1: ye
rappinchild1: energy
sylloge: ki is a type of energy?
sylloge: or ... you mean kj?
rappinchild1: no ki
sylloge: a J, not an I
sylloge: well, then nope - never heard of KI
rappinchild1: u kno like ki, prana, quantum...
rappinchild1: o ic
rappinchild1: k
sylloge: KJ is kilojoules
rappinchild1: well thnx for the help
sylloge: Qi!
rappinchild1: o ye
sylloge: You mean chinese spiritual stuff?
rappinchild1: i kno that
sylloge: Is that in your homework?
rappinchild1: but it is spelld diferent ly
rappinchild1: 3 way
rappinchild1: naw
rappinchild1: jw
rappinchild1: qi,ki,chi
sylloge: yeah, it is a chinese word, so the way you spell it in english is up for grabs

pSyCokiLerKsekeC

pSyCokiLerKsekeC: hey
sylloge: hi there
sylloge: s'^?
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: im emilie
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: i hav questions

sylloge: ok
sylloge: like what?
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: like
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: what is ska music?
sylloge: one moment please!
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: ok
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: kus
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: ive heard its liek reggae
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: but
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: i listened to ska
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: and it sounds more like punnk to me
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: ...r u there?
sylloge: sorry - on the phone
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: o ok
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: lol
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: sry
sylloge: you want to know what ska music is, and yet you've already heard it?
sylloge: what kind of answer are you looking for ...
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: lol
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: sry
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: i didnt explain it well
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: ok
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: her eit is
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: *here it is
sylloge: What are the typical characteristics of ska?
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: my friend loves ska music
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: and
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: i didnt kno wat it was
sylloge: Imagine this: spring break 1962, Jamaica. You are strolling down the
streets of Kingston, enjoying the cool sea breeze and the delightful Caribbean
climate. The streets are filled with many sounds. Cars' horns honking, children
playing, and people shuffling by. There is one sound, however, that rises above
all the hustle and bustle. Horns, guitars, organs, drums, emanating from smoke-filled
clubs and bar rooms, fill you ears with a lush sound. This is the sound of ska.

sylloge: Ska is an old Jamaican form of music that blossomed when Jamaica won
its independence from England in 1962. At this time, a man named Clement Dodd
decided to create a uniquely Jamaican danceable sound. Ska is a potpourri of
different musical styles; and draws influence from many countries. It takes
swing, jazz, big band, soul, and rhythm and blues from the U.S., and couples
it with calypso, ya-ya, and mento (a form of calypso) from the islands to create
the Jamaican ska.

sylloge: The sound of ska is unique to Jamaica and is the original "music
of Jamaica." Its accented upbeat, bouncy rhythms, and colorful horn lines
made it perfect for dancing. Ska got its name from the sound made by the guitar
as it played on the off beats. This music served as the basis for the slower
rocksteady music style which later spawned the ever-popular reggae genre. Ska
music finally made its world debut in New York at the 1964 world's fair at the
Jamaican exhibition. By this time ska was an established musical genre. Ska
later emigrated to England where the English began to develop their own style
ska, which is seen in the second wave of ska.

pSyCokiLerKsekeC: cool
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: thx
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: but it still sounds like punk!!!
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: it dosent sound like reggae at all!!!
sylloge: that's because a lot of punk banks liked the idea of ska
sylloge: and called their music ska, when it is really punk
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: ooh i c
sylloge: listen to some ska from before 1975
sylloge: ska from the 90s is quite punk
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: so ska bcame kinda punkish after 1975?
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: ok cool
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: thx alot!!
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: so who r u?
sylloge: no problem
sylloge: My name is Stewart
sylloge: I am in Vancouver
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: o
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: and
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: y do u answer pples questions?
sylloge: Because they ask me
sylloge: I'm not sure why they do
sylloge: Why did you send me an IM?
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: lol
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: cuz i saw u on google
sylloge: What were you searching for?
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: instant message question answerer
sylloge: heh
sylloge: ok
sylloge: life is weird
pSyCokiLerKsekeC: lol

Patman 12 o4

Patman 12 o4: hey
sylloge: yes
Patman 12 o4: can you tell me some countries that export products to the US
sylloge: pretty much all of them?
sylloge: Canada is the US's largest trading partner
Patman 12 o4: ok
sylloge: But the EU, Mexico, Japan and China are all very big
Patman 12 o4: ok thax

[time passes]

Patman 12 o4: I need a list of products exported from these countries: Canada, Mexico, China, Germany, UK, Korea, Tiawan, and France
sylloge: http://www.google.com/
Patman 12 o4: i was already there
Patman 12 o4: I need ur help
sylloge: Why me?
Patman 12 o4: cause u said u can answer almost anything
sylloge: I did not
Patman 12 o4: alright e/e
Patman 12 o4: w/e*
sylloge: HOw old are you?
Patman 12 o4: 11
sylloge: Hmmm
sylloge: You should keep trying with Google - it is very good
sylloge: http://www.google.com/search?q=mexican+exports+to+the+US

What this site is

In June 2003, I wrote something about instant messaging that included the words "question" and "answerer". In November of that year, a young girl trying to finish her homework searched for "instant message question answerer", found the piece I had written, and IM'd me, looking for some answers.

Foolishly, I titled that post "Instant Message Question Answerer" which became "sylloge: Instant Message Question Answerer" as the title of the page ("sylloge" is both my AIM screen name and the name of my personal site). People linked to it, and now that is the first result on Google for "question answerer".

And so, people — mostly kids doing their homework — IM me their questions. Depending on my mood, I am helpful or snarky. For a while I resisted, but now I have given in. At some point it occured to me to save the transcripts, and these are the ones I have managed to find. It has slowed down quite a bit, but they still happen from time to time and I will post the results here.